amakumo

It's been 10 days since I last wrote an entry, I thought it would be a little less than that, but apparently not. Time is fascinating. Speaking of, I've been occupied with other stuff lately; Stardew Valley and League of Legends have been taking up all my time since playing Genshin feels more like a chore than anything, maybe this is what that "Genshin Burnout" is all about, but anyway...it's not exactly a bad thing. In fact, I love that I'm lowkey straying away from that game. It's just not for me at the time, and I feel a bit healthier being away from it than being too into it. I love the game, don't get me wrong, but sometimes it's not exactly bad philosophy to think that people change. I can't keep holding myself up to a former version of myself, nor am I entitled to hold other people up to theirs. I'm a different person in a different time with, currently, different things going on in my life. Maybe at one point, I found a lot of happiness from booting up the game and grinding non-stop just for the sake of it, and hey, I can keep up this habit for a long time, this consistent schedule, but that doesn't mean I'll continue to get joy from it. It starts to feel like the norm, which isn't a bad thing, it only is when the negative side effects of playing the game are coming to light. True, my schedule has not changed all that much, given the situation (pandemic, unable to go outside comfortably, etc.) and true, my life is externally identical to what it had been last week, two months ago, 6 or whatever, but my internal life and internal feelings have changed. I'm not saying I'm never returning to that game, I'm just saying that it's okay to feel this way, and that it's alright to take a break from the game. ^^ Haha, well, I have to go now. I might write more soon, but I'll cut it here for now~ I kind of have a hangover (bummer, I swear never to drink twice in a week). Wish me luck, cuties!

‎Friday, ‎April ‎1, ‎2022
2AM

HAPPY APRIL FOOLS, EVERYONE~ ^^

LOLOL, I almost thought the date was fooling me because it was just March yesterday. Well...it was March yesterday, technically, but it all happened so fast that I lost track of time! The Wi-Fi is down right now, so I can't play Genshin and revel in the fact that I managed to get all the three archons in the span of 2/half months! It's pretty annoying, actually...because I'm starting to feel sleepy now. I wonder if I'll have enough energy to play later when the net comes back? Oh no, I am so addicted to that game, how do I stop? It's just that I'm bored most of the time and I don't want to think about school, like, I literally have no life and identity aside from being a student stuck in the pandemic...am I the only one who feels this way? Like they're running on autopilot everyday with no clear goals...or I might have goals, but it's this lingering hopelessness that keeps me anchored.

Haha, enough about the drama. I can't even play Mystic Messenger and talk to my 2D soon-to-be boyfriend, Kim Yoosung. T_T Sigh. What should I do now? Maybe there's something wrong with the router...but I already tried unplugging then plugging it! Could it be that it has nothing to do with the router and more with the house's service provider? Hmm...OMG! I can't even do my Calculus homework and it's due like...TODAY! OMG! IT'S DUE TODAY!? -_- C'mon Wi-Fi, come baaaaaaaack...